Following the lines of the Old Spice ad

Hello nerds,
Look at your score,
now back to mine.
Sadly, it’s not mine,
but if you stopped being bad
you could feel like you’re me.
look down, back up
where are you?
you are dead, not with the score you’d like.
what’s that in your hand,
back at me, I have it,
it’s a pentakill with two ragequits of those champs you hate,
now look again, the rage quits are now a deathcap.
everything is possible when your score is like mine and not a lady’s.
I’m on a horse.

Just kidding of course, but it’s pretty fun!